What this book is about:
This nonfic dives into the reasons that stable (and often long-term) relationships lose intimacy and he talks about how to get that back. The key aspect of stable, long-term relationships is the sense of intimacy, and not just sexual, either. It’s the sense of being on the same team, being open and vulnerable, and knowing your partner better than anyone else.
What I liked about it:
Super nerdy. Dr. Chalmer is a psychologist working with couples and he takes his 30+ years of experience and puts the big thing he’s learned into a short, easily digestible but still VERY FULL and practical book. Give me a book with case studies and the practical nature behind the issues and I’m in. Sold. The writing was easy and conversational, yet absolutely conveyed his thoughts and authority on the subject matter. It was really an enjoyable read.
What I didn’t like:
Truthfully, I could have used more of the case studies. I understand that the couples presented inside were actually composites of general ideas and not actually individual couples, therefore it couldn’t have been necessarily more densely packed, but I think a case study, or a couple, per chapter, would have been helpful in assessing some of the practicalities he addresses (yes, even in the sex chapter).
Overall thoughts and opinions:
I was hooked on this book from the very first sample I read of it. This book was recommended to me by my friend Maria over at TCK Publishing after I reviewed a previous book for her.
I appreciated that he doesn’t shy away from difficult topics like sex, trauma, and anxiety in relationships and that he acknowledges the difficulties those situations present in maintaining relationships. I’ve even recommended this book to someone for precisely that reason.
The writing is authoritative, yet accessible. He sticks with his overall theme and doesn’t try to reach too far to make this book what it isn’t. It’s a guide to improve a relationship, not therapy in a book. He even acknowledges that some relationships are simply too far gone to be saved, but that these principles can work to reduce more person damage in a split (especially when children are involved). I really appreciated this book and am even implementing a few things into my own marriage.
I give Reigniting the Spark five stars.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a review. All opinions are my own.